• KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca
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    7 days ago

    On the plus side, they can no longer open the Nuclear Football suitcase because it’s been inadvertently sealed shut by Pentagon Pete masturbating furiously and shooting “tributes” on it.

    • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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      6 days ago

      Unlikely. Kegsbreath probably has constant brewer’s droop, and that’s one of the reasons for his endless over-compensative macho posturing. That, or he feels attracted to twinks, but thinks that’ll send him to hell if he acts on it. And that’s why he’s so obsessed with the soldiers he surrounds himself with being clean-shaven and not overweight.