Unironically how these people read that list:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Read: the poor in spirit die first.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Read: We will kill those who mourn

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the Earth.

Read: Once the greenhouse gasses are no longer tolerable. We going to Mars, suckas

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.

Read: killing those who oppose me is what is righteous.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Read: we don’t even bully the Mexican guy on our squad, he’s pretty cool guy

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Read: white

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the Sons of God.

Read: kill those who oppose you until there is no more opposition and you will become Jesus.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Read: God needs me to kill ANTIFA

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.

Read: you have my permission to kill the infidels.

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you…

Read: don’t question your mission. You and all your pedo friends can fuck teenage girls or something, after you die for this cause.

…yep. those are them alright.